Day 31 - Failed

I failed myself today... I'm gonna get up, but for now I'm wallowing down here... I just gobbled up 2 rolls with cream cheese on them. Yup, I tried to eat my frustration away. Oh, and my wallowing just got an end-time... I thought I was gonna skip tonight's light cardio class at the gym, when my friend just replied to my WAY earlier message, saying that she'll definately join me for that class... I'll probably thank her later. But right now I'm still feeling the pits! Plus I'm shaking like a leaf from all that I've devoured...it could also be the double espresso shot I through down my throught, in hope to somehow magically eat away at the carbs, msg and fat my gut is dealing with now... Ps. i'm having a bad day. Last night I realised that I've been on this challenge and next week we're arriving at the half way mark. In the first 3weeks I was rather chuffed with myself since my new insight was life changing - that eating healthy and towards muscle recovery actually brings the weight and body fat down PLUS there isn't that lack of energy for exercise and life which comes with your traditional weight-loss diet! I also grew stronger in my running and can really feel the differance in my muscles. But it's almost half way, and I can't feel the difference in my clothes... My jeans are as tight as ever... And then I looked back at my progress. In the last 5 weeks I've only lost 2.5kg's and 2% body fat. So before I got depressed about it, I decided to rather just find out what to do differently and pull up my socks! (After all, I've got the energy!) A bit of digging and it seems that the answer lies in the fact that I'm not doing any weight training - only cardio. Now I've been pushing up my protien in-take for the last 2weeks. And my tummy's become hard because of that. So I need a pro-biotik. My vit.C just ran out - I need more. I started with heavier ab-exercises on Monday and am still so stiff that I struggle to get into my car. And now I want to start with weight training and therefor I need Glutamine. For faster fat burn I also need to drop the diet fuel and start with pure Whey protien. My feet and fingers are swollen (it's that time of the month) and I would like to buy a water retention pill. Now I can spend all this money, but then I'll have to dig into my December holiday savings, which I want to use for a new wardrobe then, when we'll be going to the Filipene islands...where I'll show off all my hard work in my lowered body fat-body! Catch 22! Depressed!!!

Last night I had chicken stir fry for dinner. This morning I went for an easy 40min cardio at the gym, where I drank my slim pack during the work out (ps. My legs are still very tired from Saturday's race combined with last night's spinning class). I had 5table spoons of pronutro mixed with water to make a shake and added a small-small banana, for breakfast. My morning snack was 2 crackers with almond nut butter on. Lunch was a huge green salad with some low fat cottage cheese in it. My afternoon snack was 2 white rolls with half a tub of flavoured cream cheese :-( I'm off to the gym for an easy 60min cardio work out, followed by 20min's of light weights. And dinner will be chicken fillet and vedge.